Today I Give Thanks.

On most days I forget. I forget about what my baby went through. Garrett amazes me. As I tell most people, most of the time I forget. I forget the surgeries, needles, IV’s, tubes, ventilators, wires, and beeping machines (Oh how I hated the alarming machines!!!). Sometimes I have nightmares about all of it.




On most days I forget I saw babies die. Multiple babies.



On most days I forget that I drove to Cardinal Glennon every day for 45 days. Sometimes more than once a day.



On most days I forget that I thought we were going to lose Garrett. I forget that a nurse called me while I was still in the hospital recovering from labor and delivery to tell me, “He was taking steps in the wrong direction” and things were not looking good.



On most days I forget that I pumped like a maniac to try to keep him healthy. Not knowing if he would even get the chance to use it.



On most days I forget that my parents and in-laws stood by my family’s side through all of it. Though I know they were just as scared as I was; they didn’t show it.



On most days I forget that I would hope for a close parking spot everyday so I could get into the hospital that much quicker to see my baby.



On most days I forget about all the wonderful NICU nurses that cared for my Garrett.



But not on this day. On this day I remember and give thanks for all of it. For all the things and people that helped with Garrett. I remember.



I see a small scar on his belly and I remember.



I see a commercial for Cardinal Glennon and I remember.



I hear Garrett breathe a little harder than he should be and I remember.



I look at memory as a way to honor your past. I will always honor and be thankful for everyone who helped Garrett. Though most of the time ‘now’ it is easy to forget……today I remember.